Held Through the Heartbreak: Anna’s Story of Loss, Faith, and Redemption

Meet Anna:Reading and baking are two of her favorite things. Give her a good book or a blank cake to decorate, and she can happily get lost for hours.

Anna’s Story And How She Found Freedom

“My first son was born in 2019 through a very traumatic labor and delivery. After that experience, my husband and I decided we would wait a while before having another baby. However, the Lord had other plans.

I found out I was pregnant at the very beginning of October 2021. We were completely shocked but over the moon excited. My grandmother was going through cancer treatments, and we wanted to learn the gender so we could tell her while she was still with us.

At our first ultrasound appointment, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Then we heard the words no parent ever wants to hear: ‘There’s no heartbeat.’ Our baby had stopped growing, and we would never get to hold him in our arms.

One week later, I delivered him at home. That same night, my sister received the gender results from the blood test and shared that he was a little boy.

Three months later, we experienced a very unexpected chemical pregnancy, and it felt like the bad news would never end. We knew we weren’t ready to risk another loss. While the doctor said we could try again if we wanted, we felt it was best to wait.

Again, the Lord knew what He was doing and had other plans.

In April of 2022, my oldest son, who was three at the time, started talking about his baby brother. We assumed he had overheard us discussing the miscarriage. Then a friend asked, ‘What if you’re pregnant now?’ I thought that was impossible, but I couldn’t shake the feeling after she said it.

Turns out, I was pregnant with our sweet son, who was born that following December.

The miscarriage crushed me. Pregnancy and infant loss can feel like a deep, dark hole you will never find your way out of. But through it all, the Lord showed me that He was near. Scriptures shared by friends and family, along with unexpected ‘God winks,’ brought comfort and hope for the future.

I knew that while none of it made sense, God’s redemptive plan was coming.

‘Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you don’t realize now, but afterward you will understand.”’ — John 13:7

This verse gave me hope then and continues to give me hope in the chaos life can bring. I don’t know why we lost our baby. I don’t know why we didn’t get to hold him in our arms. I don’t understand, and I may never fully understand until the day I see him again for the best playdate in heaven.

But God promises that when we don’t understand now, we will one day. And I know His promises are good.”

What is one piece of advice you would give a mother walking through a similar loss?

“Just hang on. ‘If you’re hanging on by a thread, make sure it’s the hem of His garment.’

It is so hard to make it through each day. I know, mama. Every day is a battle and can feel like you’ve fought an entire war by the time your head hits the pillow. But you will make it through this.

Rest in the arms of our beautiful Father and trust that you will see that sweet baby again. You will hold him or her in your arms. Heaven is just that much sweeter knowing you will hear a voice you’ve never heard, yet fully recognize, calling your name when you arrive.

Just keep hanging on and hoping for the future.”

What quote has brought you comfort?

“And to think, the first thing you saw when you opened your tiny little eyes was the face of Jesus.”

“Knowing that my baby never knew my face or felt my arms hold him broke me. But when I remember that the first face he saw was Jesus, and the first arms he felt were His, it brings me comfort.”

We pray that Anna’s story fills your heart with hope and reminds you that you are never alone. We are here for you.